Happy Gobbleween!
Are you ready for the Turkey Monster to come down your chimney, roast itself over the fire and present it’s dead body for your consumption? Of course you are! But what about the day after, when you’re stuffed full of mashed gravy pies and your belly starts storing away tons of fat cells? Beyond barfing those green beans back up, here are some little-known weight-loss tips just in time for the St. Turkentine’s Day holiday season.
FUN FACT: You’re not fat, you’re big boned! The human skeleton weighs approximately 19 pounds. If you’ve gained 19 pounds after Thankashana, don’t sweat it, you’ve probably just grown an extra skeleton. Or perhaps you’ve eaten a human skeleton. Long story short, you’ve got two skeletons in you.
FUN FACT: Moobsectomies half off! Man boobs are a pretty serious post-Thankster Thursday issue, but not everyone is aware of the large number of moob-size-reduction deals available on Black Friday. The best way to get the biggest savings from your local surgeon? Subscribe to email alerts from LivingMoobpon.com, which deals solely in moob-related discounts.
FUN FACT: So you got fat while you ate flesh. Have you thought about acquiring a flesh-eating disease? This weight-loss tip and more are chronicled in
the latest episode of Skill Me Now. Jump on in, if you have the ability to lift your massive, gluttonous frame off the ground.
Happy Fatsgiving everyone!